after having the install problem despite having made NMM large memory aware and not finding a FOMM on my computer.
I decided to look at the manual install which is not recommended because of the many files to take out if you need to uninstall.
What I did was create a 7 zip of the 4 folders fomod-Music-sound-Video.
The other files are all the fallout 3/dlc bsas and esms those are easy to select to copy and remove.
Copied the esms and bsa's to data file folder
then installed the fomod with the loose folders (If you install if before moving the esms -it has an error)
If you put the fomod folder in the fomod it still does the update of the init file
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the fomod of the loose stuff isn't very big and doesn't tax the installer.
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So I am up and running.
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Could be ram problems, I took my 3-4gig sticks out to bring my 3d machine up to 6-4gig sticks and only had 3-2s to put back in the game machine... But watching memory usage the game doesn't seem to pull much more than 1.5 g any way.